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Sacramento grandmother Belinda Jackson hands a three-page letter about her quest to reunite her 11 grandchildren to anyone who will take it, along with copies of well-worn family photos. In this photo, Jackson, center right, is surrounded by her daughter Nekay, top right, and mother Ivy, middle left, and eight of her grandchildren.

As they tell it, their family lives are tangled webs of social workers, foster care, health problems, homelessness, courts, lawyers, prison, drugs, welfare, abuse and estrangement.

These women new friends who met through the Greater Sacramento Grandparents Network and attended the recent conference in Sacramento seem surprisingly optimistic, considering their situations.

But they have horror stories to share about their experiences with "the system," the often bewildering morass of courts and government agencies that control who their grandchildren live with and where.

"They don't give you a book" on how to deal with it, Jackson says.

At age 46, Jackson has 11 grandchildren, all by one daughter with bipolar disorder, who has been institutionalized several times. The grandchildren range from 13 years old to 2-year-old triplets; two more children died. "Every year, my daughter had a baby," Jackson says.

Jackson was granted guardianship or custody of most of the grandchildren several years ago (four now live in Louisiana), but they were removed by the system after she was forced to leave the house where they were living.

"They have taken my whole life," Jackson says. "I have nothing but my heart, and Jesus. Thirteen years of my life I've been raising nothing but my grandchildren."

After taking court-ordered counseling and parenting classes, Jackson's main focus is now on finding a five-bedroom Section 8 house, not a simple task.

"As I write, my grandkids are going through hell in the foster homes they are in," Jackson put down in a letter addressed to whoever will take it. "My grandkids are afraid of losing me as they have been put in fear too many times with the system."

"I've been advocating for 10 years for my grandchildren," Jackie Hardy, grandmother of 11, said at a Sacramento conference.

Hardy's situation is similarly wrenching. At 53, Hardy is currently taking care of two of her 11 grandchildren, and is trying to get three others out of foster care. "I've been advocating for 10 years for my grandchildren," she says.

One of Hardy's granddaughters, an 11-year-old, has lived in 16 foster homes so far. "The [courts] would tell me, 'You don't have any rights'," Hardy says. "The social workers blocked me. But I'm her grandmother. I'm not going anywhere."

Furthermore, the five grandchildren Hardy is trying to reunite have five different lawyers. "The courts don't want to hear anything I have to say," Hardy says. "It hurts. It does hurt."

The stress on the grandchildren, having to live apart from family members who care about them, is unfathomable to Hardy. "It's hard on those kids. They don't get to see each other I constantly tell the kids, 'You did not do anything wrong'."

"The kids all worry," Jackson adds. "I have to hear them say, 'Grandma, I want to come home.' I'm afraid for them. I don't want someone else to raise them." J.B.